Nemo y su padre en el acuario de Singaput

Nemo in Acuarium, originally uploaded by kalibushido.

mom's day off

Today, I did something I bet most moms fantasize about but never (or rarely) do: I took an entire day off. No kids, no housework, no chores. I actually planned it a couple weeks ago. I arranged for child care and dropped the kids off about 9:30 in the morning. Then I went to the local bookstore, bought a big latte, and immersed myself in a novel (Snow Flower and the Secret Fan). I spent a good part of the day there. The rest of the day I played on the computer, talked on the phone, and bought groceries (without kids yammering in the cart and pulling things off the shelves). All in all, a very satisfactory day!

As good as this felt, I feel a little guilty. It felt so decadent to spend the whole day on ME, doing what I like. But still, I had a great time! I think the fact that I'm working and earning money helps me justify the cost. And when I picked up the kids at 5 p.m., they were happy. We took them to McDonald's for dinner and then got their portraits taken at Sears, and they were happy, well behaved, fun to be with, and I thoroughly enjoyed the evening.

So - you moms out there - how often have you done this? What did you do on your day off?

Quickfire 3: Elevator Politics

Working in a hospital with 6 floors (especially as in intern) means having to use elevators at least 25-30 times a day. Its virtually a tool of the trade, having to be in so many places all the time means that getting around efficiently and comfortably has a major impact on your work day.

What annoys me the most is visitors (or even smoker patients) who share the elevators with you. Most people who work here tend to understand how the things work, and will know how to speedily get to where they're going. There are usually two call buttons, one for each direction, and common sense dictates that you press the one your require and wait patiently. Then you have those idiots who walk up after you and press the other direction too. Why? Is it because they might be going downstairs to where the staff canteen is, or where the hospital maintenance facilities are? I don't think so, they're visitors and are using the elevator to go up to the next floor (completely ignoring the stairs). They press the down button and stop a descending elevator, ask where its heading and are told its going down. And then they get on. As it goes down and comes back up again, the doors open and guess who's in there? The same idiot. What kills me is when you ask them why they do that, they answer "its faster". Faster for what exactly? Do you just enjoy being in elevators? Have you no understanding that you're delaying those going down and crowding them for no reason whatsoever?

Please, just stop coming to my workplace and annoying me. I don't come into your job and start fucking your shit up, so repay me that courtesy. Thank you.

Quickfire 2: Pride

One of the few things that keep me going during the routine days is an upcoming meal. Since most hot hospital food is usually inedible, a custom made sandwich is always a tasty option to look forward to.. sometimes as early as 9am.

Whether its at the hospital or in a deli nearby on the weekend, one of the things that really gets to me is when my sandwich is made in a sloppy fashion. I believe that, no matter what you do, you should always have pride in you work. If its your job to make sandwiches all day, then its your duty to infuse a sufficient amount of love in each one you make. It really bothers me when someone makes me an asymmetrical sandwich, or one that is light (or top-heavy) on ingredients. Either the bread isn't cut properly, or the sandwich has so much cheese on it that the rest of fillings are completely drowned out.. things like that aggravate me to no end.

I understand that making sandwiches can be tedious. It may not be your profession of choice.. you may not have grown up envisioning this for yourself.. but its still your job, and you should have some pride in what you produce. This sandwich may mean nothing to you since its one of 50 you'll be making today, but to me.. this sandwich is what I've been looking forward to all morning and is going to set the tone of the rest of my afternoon. Please don't let me down.

Quickfire 1: PCD

PCD is an acronym for two conditions that go hand in hand.

Pre-Call Depression: A feeling of loathing of life descends as you walk around the hospital all day knowing that you're not going home that night. Five o'clock comes around and people are smiling and cheerful as they walk out the door.. but all you can do is hope for a quiet night as you don your scrubs and prepare for a rough 24 hours. It usually presents with irritability and feelings of anger. Lashing out is a common symptom.

Post-Call Delirium: Lack of sleep coupled with an overworked mind lead to a delirious state. Someone once told me that being post-call is equivalent to having drank two pints of lager. Some people burst into spontaneous fits of giggles at inappropriate times while others say and do the most outlandish things. Everyone looks like absolute crap post-call. In extreme conditions when associated with a busy day, lack of food and a developing headache, it can actually escalate into a full blown migraine or a hypoglycemic attack.

the great car dealer rip-off

I can't believe I lost a $350+ keychain!

Ironically, I misplaced my keychain the day of Sam's adoption in Utah's great hall of justice, the Salt Lake County Courthouse. At the time I thought, oh well - I'd rather gain a kid and lose my keys than the other way round.

But that was when I had no idea how much car dealers charge to replace keys and those little "keyless entry" remote controls. We could get copies of one car key at Lowe's for a couple bucks, but the Toyota key has a "chip" to prevent such convenience. This way, the dealer can charge $45 for the replacement key, $138.75 for the remote, and of course an additional $45 for the "labor" of programming the remote. The Chevy dealer - isn't this amazing - charges the exact same fee for the programming, but the Chevy remote is "only" $45.

This all reaffirms my view of car dealers. It's kind of like dealing with surgeons - I don't want to at all if I can avoid it, and in the end it's just painful. I'm still trying to decide how much it's worth to me to be able to lock/unlock my car remotely. Before kids, I wouldn't have cared at all. Now, I really like it.

thirty-something isn't THAT old!!!

So, on a whim I went to see a "B" movie at the dollar theater - "Music and Lyrics" starring Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore. It was cute, pretty predictable but nothing spectacular. What got me, though, was the portrayal of women in their late thirties as "menopausal."

A little background: in the movie, Drew Barrymore's older sister is revealed to be 38 (same age as yours truly). Hugh Grant performs at her high school class reunion, which happens to be the class of 1987 (my class). Hugh Grant is an 80's pop music "has-been" - he was a big star in the 80's but has since been relegated to playing at, well, high school reunions. At the reunion, when he performs, the women in the crowd go crazy. Later, Hugh Grant jokes about his following among the "menopausal" crowd. Maybe it's just supposed to be hyperbole, but really, is that society's understanding - that we 30-somethings are already having hot flashes?

For the teens and twenty-something crowd who most likely make up the majority of this movie's target audience, I'm sure "38" does sound hopelessly old. But I protest: I still like to think there's a difference between late thirties and early fifties (the average age of onset of menopause). When you're 18, though, I think it all looks the same. Old.

Happy Adoption Day

Yesterday was the big day - we went to court to finalize Sam's adoption. He is now officially, legally, and forever our son! As Bryan says, "Now he's stuck with us." And we with him. As Alex frequently proclaims, "I'm HAPPY!"

We went out to lunch with Buzzmeovaby and Tammy, Calvin and Michelle to celebrate. For a table with 5 adults and 5 kids ages 3 and under, it was remarkably calm and pleasant--I know it sounds unbelievable, but it was. The key was having crackers to dispense to kids waiting for the food to arrive. Crackers = happiness for all. Must remember to have lots of crackers every time we go out to eat. Sam is able to tolerate sitting in a high chair much longer now, as long as he has something to eat, which gives me hope that we will be able to enjoy restaurants again more often in the future.

The court proceedings went smoothly, though the setting was very different than last time (with Alex). Instead of being in the big fancy wood-paneled courtroom, we were ushered to the judge's "chambers" (an office with a window, desk and several chairs). The judge was very impressed with Sam's tux and said if he'd known, he would have put on something more formal. :-) While our attorney presented the documents and stated the case to the judge, there was a fair amount of background action going on, all of which should be captured on videotape. Sam got restless and started exploring, at one point venturing behind the judge's desk. Aimee, my friend's daughter, tripped and bumped her knee and cried and had to be carried out. Alex pulled her skirt all the way up to display her bare tummy and diaper for the judge and attorney. I'm sure there was more, but I was trying to pay attention to the attorney and answer questions. In the end the official pronouncement was made and we got our picture taken with the judge. The only down side to such a great day was that somewhere I put down my keys and we were never able to find them again. Blast. Oh well, you win some, you lose some.

Welcome to the family Sam! As I say to him every night at bedtime, "Sam, I'm so happy you're my little boy."

Happy Birthday Sam!

We love you Samuel Gil Sang-Ah!

My baby's turning ONE

Sam's birthday is tomorrow. We're celebrating tonight, and I'm looking forward to all the hoopla - dressing him in his hanbok, doing the Toljabee (see http://www.lifeinkorea.com/culture/tol/tol.cfm if you don't know what this is), singing the happy birthday song, lighting his one candle and watching Alex "help" him blow it out, and giving him his presents. For some reason I'm feeling really happy about this milestone. He has made it to ONE! Even though I know his sweet little "tiny baby" days are over, I am looking forward to all the FUN stuff we'll be doing together. I think having Alex as the "prequel" helped. :-)

Of course, the one-to-two age range is difficult as well. Dangerous combination of mobility and utter cluelessness. Sam is already more mobile than I'm comfortable with. Today, for example, I caught him with his hands in the toilet again, and this was shortly after he learned he CAN tip over the kitchen trash can and sample the contents. I got him in bed for a nap and went to fold laundry, only to discover the little "present" he had left me - a puddle of baby puke on the carpet next to my bed. (And yet for some reason I still LOVE, love LOVE the little punker! You mommies and daddies out there understand.)

Had a dream last night that he emptied a bowl of hot wax over his head. Don't ask me how there came to be a bowl of hot wax, but I just had that terrible sinking feeling as (in the dream) I was picturing him in the burn unit. I do worry more about Mr. Go-getter Sam hurting himself than I do with Alex. Trying to dance the fine line between being extra-vigilant and being the dreaded and scorned "over-protective" mother. It still irks me when Bryan pooh-poohs my "mommy safety rules," such as no balloons in the house (choking hazard) or no whole grapes for kids under 3. Even seemingly innocent things can turn deadly: on Easter, I was enjoying a quiet moment with my Time magazine when I heard Sam whimpering. Looked up and saw he had gotten his plastic Easter bucket handle around his neck and was stuck. He can find a way to make anything dangerous, that boy.

Anyway...back to Sam's birthday. This blog entry would not be complete without a mention of Sam's first mother, his Korean mother. Even though we've never met, I've been thinking about her a lot as his birthday approaches. How is she doing? How must she feel as this date approaches and she remembers it all - being pregnant and alone, going into labor, giving birth to this healthy boy with the fuzzy black hair sticking straight up from his head - all of it knowing this was her son - and yet she could not be his mother. :-( Did she hold him? Rock him? Sing to him? As happy as I am to have the privilege of being Sam's mom, I can't help feeling sad for her. Wherever she is, I wish her peace in her heart.

The adoption agency in Korea keeps a file for each child. If Sam's first mother ever wants to, she can come back (secretly, probably) and see his pictures and letters we send. Every time I send an update, I hope she will eventually see it. Even if it's painful, I so want her to know what a great little man he is and how much we love him.

just rambling...

Well, I haven't posted in a while since I didn't feel like I had anything new to say. But here's what's been going on the past few weeks.

- I finished reading The Great Influenza - a good, if long, book about the influenza pandemic of 1918. Scary. I didn't know it primarily killed people ages 20-35. We are so not prepared for the next time it happens. I passed up an "emergency food kit" at Costco, a big bucket of preserved food for $99 that's supposed to last 6 weeks. Some day I'm going to get just a little more paranoid and start buying that stuff. For now, we are still hoping to rely on the mercy of our good Mormon neighbors in the event of catastrophe. :-) Today, in fact, the same good Mormon neighbors invited us to an "emergency preparedness" event at the local ward.

- Bryan's grandma, Great Nana, hasn't been doing so well. She's been combative and non-cooperative at the nursing home. :-(. She even threw her Bible at one of the aides and called her a "hussy." This is about 6 weeks after starting Zoloft...sigh. It's sad.

- Am currently reading "The Courage To Be" by Paul Tillich. Apparently this book was all the rage when it came out, but by the time I was in college had dropped off the required reading lists. I like it but it's pretty heavy stuff. I feel like I'm back in college again. I wish for a group to discuss it with, but I doubt I'll find one anytime soon. Maybe online.

- Listening to "When We Were Orphans" in the car - a detective story taking place in London and Shangai. The reader is one of the best I've ever heard - he ranks up there with Willem Dafoe reading Steven King's The Langoliers. He does voices and accents really, really well. It makes me glad I'm listening to it rather than reading it. Fun.

- Alex said something cute the other day. Her pants had no pockets and she said, "Oh, I'll go get my overballs. They have pockets." Overballs. As my friend Nancy said, "If she were a boy, that would be true!"

A los dioses tambien les gustan los dolares

P1000849, originally uploaded by kalibushido.

Esta es una foto de una especie de altar de los mil que habia enfrente de todos los negocios de Muine, en Vietnam.
Parece ser que para adorar a los dioses y ganerse sus favores, los vietnamitas tienen que ofrecerles dolares americanos (estos son una replica), la moneda de su archienemigo.
Curioso, parece que con el dinero nadie tiene miramientos, ni los mismos dioses...

AK-47 y M-16

P1000681, originally uploaded by kalibushido.

Que pasa si estas en Camboya y paras a un hombrecito que va en moto y le pides que te de una vuelta y te lleve a los sitios que quieres ver y en un momento de descuido (no habla NADA de Ingles) te mete en un caminucho del infierno y despues de un buen rato apareces en un terreno cerrado con puertas metalicas y te salen unos individuos con cara de pocos amigos, chaquetas militares y armas automaticas?
Lo que yo hice es ponerme a disparar con un AK-47 y con un M-16...

Mmmmm, viva el pato

P1000970, originally uploaded by kalibushido.

Un delicioso Pato con miel y nosecuantas especias que me sirvieron en un restaurante de Phi Phi Island, Tailandia.
De lo mejorcito que he comido en este viaje.
Adoro el pato.
Incluso el vivo.

;P

Cu Chi Tunnels por dentro

P1000763, originally uploaded by kalibushido.

Esta es una de las partes por las que se puede ir a gatas.
Hay muchas por las que solo te puedes arrastrar, despues de unos minutos te das cuenta de lo duro que tenia que ser estar metido bajo tierra durante meses...
Gente dura estos campesinos-guerrilleros vietnamitas...

Entrada a los Cu Chi Tunnels desde fuera y mi lindo piececito

P1000747, originally uploaded by kalibushido.

Se puede apreciar que casi no se puede apreciar donde esta la entrada a los Cu Chi Tunnels.
Bonito juego de palabras...

Cu Chi Tunnels

P1000749, originally uploaded by kalibushido.

Son unos tuneles que cavaron los guerrilleros vietnamitas en el distrito de Cu Chi, en Vietnam, durante la guerra contra EEUU, para esconderse de los ataques enemigos bajo tierra y a modo de cuartel general y vivienda.
En total hay unos 200 Kms de tuneles. Estos tienen cocinas, enfermerias, zonas comunes, trampas contra intrusos (espeluznantes...).
Es un trabajo increible.
Era necesario bajo tierra ya que los americanos habian dejado la superficie plana y sin vegetacion a base de bombardeos constantes y de Napalm.
La entrada era de unos 20x30 cms, menos mal que he perdido unos kilitos...